Adventures in insect repellant

(Occasionally, to fill the gap in between weekend adventures, I’ll post entries from another online journal I’ve kept. This re-run is from June 20th, 2005)

A FEW CAMPING DON’TS:

DON’T accidentally throw the bug spray in the cooler. That makes it very cold.

DON’T turn your head to respond to a question while spritzing one’s head with bug spray. While mosquitoes will stop attacking your mouth, the lingering aftertaste is horrific. The temporary blindness sucks, too.

DON’T continue to choose the campsite up in the woods at the top of the hill all by its lonesome, then complain when 11pm rolls around and you have to hike to the bathroom in the dark. And, while hiking back up the hill with a tiny flashlight, do not get spooked and start running if, like me, you don’t run regularly. When you finally reach the safety of the campfire and flop, gasping for air, into your chair, your husband will roll his eyes and call you a dumbass.

DON’T sit around a campfire with a bored, younger crowd. If said crowd should decide to pour bug spray into an empty beer bottle, put the cap back on and set it in the fire, DO run like hell. DON’T do this if you ever want to see the cap again.

DON’T decide to have a last night campfire with with leftover, wet wood. While you will chase away the mosquito problem for a twenty-mile radius, you and everything you brought with you will reek so badly of wet-wood smoke, your cats will hiss and spit at you when you return home.